Clown / Ripped Face SFX Makeup

It's been so long since I've done a paint. My biggest excuse was that my paints are old, limited, and practically dried out. I've been meaning to purchase new ones, and more SFX supplies, but so much has been going on lately! Not to mention I've been a little short on cash over the past couple of months.

I just recently finished moving into my friend Rabekka's house, and as a gift to myself for finally unpacking everything, I decided to paint my face today with the little paints/equipment that I have. So, lo and behold, the creation! I got the idea from my makeup artist when I worked at Halloween Haunt last year, she had a clown girl right before me, and she made it look like half of her face was torn off. I also used Instagram user Mykie's clown look as an inspiration for the eye makeup. (She's AMAZINGLY talented, go check her out!)

Forgive me, as I am REALLY terrible at painting teeth, I can just never get them right! I'm sort of proud of myself for this look though :)

          

A month in photos.

These past 30 days have been pretty hectic, therefore I thought I'd show you in pictures!

I took a trip to Lake Tahoe (my first time!) with my boyfriend and his family for Independence day.

Where the sunset was absolutely beautiful!

 I took a lake trip with some friends & family.

I visited Tracy to see my family, watch my little sisters fabulous dance recital, and spent the night with my best friend!

I took some selfies here & there.

& even some with my favorite pup.

Took my favorite girls to Great America for an awesome Nanny reunion!

I had the chance to see The Lost Boys right on the beach with friends.

& last but not least; I'm currently in the process of moving in with my best friend! In a recent turn of events, I've decided that it will be best for me right now. I feel like I'm starting to regret this decision, though, because she possesses a creepy Chuckie doll, shown below.

(I hope she doesn't hate me for this photo! I love her and think she's gorgeous <3)

30 Weeks of Writing: Week One.

Photo by kaminoryuu.soup.io // my edit

The reason I'm choosing this topic for my first week of writing is because I had a recent 'encounter', I guess you could say, with my worst fear. It's funny, because although this post is titled 'Childhood Fear', this fear is very much existent in my life even today. Yes, I am admitting to you that I am still, at 21 years old, absolutely terrified of this. My friends, and even my boyfriend thinks its funny and a little ridiculous; and I don't doubt that you will be laughing at me too by the end of this post! But I am drop dead serious when I say that I am extremely and positively terrified of Samara from the horror movie 'The Ring', and also the chick from 'The Grudge'. No joke.

Being an aspiring SFX makeup artist, I can pretty much handle anything. From classics like The Nightmare on Elm Street, to gore like The Human Centipede (though one thing I can not handle is snuff films, I've seen a few in my life which have literally made me sick, I don't see how anyone can handle watching a real snuff film without throwing up; and if you can, there is seriously something wrong with you lol). I was a pretty morbid kid, I loved horror films and killing my barbies and being scary things for Halloween; just ask my parents.

Anyway, when I first watched the Ring I was like 8 or 9, and it scared me, yes, but I was obsessed with it. Don't asked me why, but I watched that damn movie every day for like a year. I enjoyed scaring myself and laying awake at night being terrified of the girl in the closet, thinking that she was sitting in mine. (YEAH, I KNOW THOSE OF YOU THAT HAVE SEEN IT REMEMBER THAT PART. WORST. PART. EVER.) Do not ask me WHY I tortured myself like this, because I couldn't tell you! Anyway, after I moved back to my dads house, we didn't own the movie so I didn't watch it anymore; and I slowly developed a real fear of it. I think part of it was because I lived in an abusive household at the time I was 'obsessed' with the movie. Now that that time in my life was in the past, the movie was sort of a reminder of what I had lived through. It's totally subconscious, I think. It's not like I think of the movie and am scared of it because I was abused... I just think that it coincides with that abusive time in my life, so it just gives me an uneasy and scared feeling. Idk, some psychological crap probably. I watched the Grudge for the first time shortly after I had moved to my dads house, and I was pretty much like WHAT THE HELL and I couldn't even finish the damn movie. It reminded me too much of The Ring.

Growing up, the fear got worse. I don't know why, I haven't watched either of those movies in years. I still remember almost every part of The Ring, though. My brother and sister used to taunt me and make the Grudge noise all the time, it got to the point where I would start crying. I turned 18 and moved out of my parents house, I lived about an hour away, and I lived with my (at the time) best friend and her boyfriend. I had my own room, the mattress was on the floor, horizontal to the bedroom door. So, imagine just lying on your right hand side, and facing the door, floor level.

One night I fell asleep that way, laying on my right hand side, facing the door at floor level. When I fell asleep, my door was open and the hall light was on, but the living room light was off. So, the hall was lit up but it was dark beyond that. I fell asleep, and had this 'dream' I guess that didn't even seem like I was dreaming at all. In my dream, I was in the exact same position, facing my door, with the hall light on and the living room light off. The clock by my bed read about 11:30.. that's when I started to fall asleep in the first place. So at this point I honestly couldn't even tell if I was asleep or awake! Anyway, I saw something move in the darkness beyond the hall light. Next thing I know, the damn ring girl CRAWLS out of the darkness into the light of the hallway. She's all contorted and messed up looking, like The Grudge girl, in a crawling position but her legs look broken and stuff, but her hair is in front of her face like The Ring, and I can't see it. Also, her skin (on her arms and legs) is all moldy and scabby, and she's wearing a white night gown.

In my dream, I literally cannot move. She crawls toward me slowly, and her body is literally making cracking noises. She gets right up to my door, and she's just sitting there. I am literally paralyzed with fear, my body is completely frozen. Within a second, literally it takes her one second... one minute shes in my doorway, the next she is RIGHT UP IN MY FACE. LIKE LITERALLY SHE MOVED AT LIGHTNING SPEED AND NOW HER FACE IS IN MY FACE, HER HAIR IS BARELY PARTED AND I CAN SEE HER MOLDY, ROTTED EYE RIGHT UP IN MY FACE.

The next thing I know, I'm screaming bloody murder, I shot upright in my bed and I'm literally grabbing at my face and hair and screaming. The dream literally jolted me awake. I scrambled up from bed, ran into the kitchen, and turned on all of the lights. I immediately grabbed a glass of water and gulped that thing down in seconds. I was seriously hyperventilating and panicking and crying. The house was completely silent, my roommates were still asleep, (though I don't know why or how, I literally screamed at the top of my lungs), and the clock read 11:32. I was asleep for less than 2 minutes. The thing was, I hadn't seen either movies in years, and I hadn't even thought or talked about those movies in at least a couple of months. So I can't tell you why I had that vivid, creepy dream.

The day after that, I apologized to my roommates if I had woken them up the night before. They had no idea what I was talking about. I said, "Are you serious? I had a bad dream and I woke up screaming at the top of my lungs, and I ran past your room into the kitchen where I turned on all the lights". Again, they said they didn't hear anything, and they also said they were awake in their room until about midnight. I said, "Are you kidding me? You didn't hear me scream, you didn't hear my footsteps, and you didn't see all the lights turn on?" they said, "no, not that I know of". It freaked me the hell out, I know it happened. I know that waking up and going to the kitchen wasn't apart of my dream! And my roommates didn't hear a thing.

After that, I couldn't even see a picture of anything like that without freaking out. I met my boyfriend and moved in with him, he begged me to watch one of The Grudge movies with him (it was a random, Japanese version, called White Ghost Black Ghost or something like that? lol.) He was like, "come on, it's been years. You're 20 now, I bet you're not even scared of it anymore". I finally gave in, we started watching it and I was gripping the blanket so hard my knuckles were turning white. One of the first scenes, that creepy little Grudge boy popped up on the screen, I practically peed my pants. I screamed and covered my face and started bawling. My boyfriend was laughing so hard, he shut it off, and he seriously could not believe that I was that scared. I know and understand that it's not real, that it can't be real, and that it's obviously a fictitious character... so I really can't tell you why I get so afraid.

My recent 'encounter'... I was coming home from work after a late night shift. I got off from work at 2am, and I didn't reach my house till about 2:45. My house was completely dark, my boyfriend, his mom, and even my dog was fast asleep. I was climbing up the stairs and scrolling down facebook when someone posted a damn picture, black and white, of a creepy stairway. I couldn't tell what it was from far away so I clicked on the picture. AND IT WAS THE DAMN GRUDGE GIRL CRAWLING DOWN THE STAIRS. I freaked the hell out, clicked the home button as fast as I could, and I ran to the bathroom, turned on the light and shut the door. I was hyperventilating and fanning my face and freaking out. I sat in the bathroom for 15 minutes, I literally did not want to leave the light to go into the dark hallway. I finally worked up the courage to get into bed with my boyfriend, where I laid there for another hour until I started falling asleep. Before that, though, I sent my boyfriend a text telling him that when he wakes up, to please open my phone, go to the facebook app, and exit out of that picture before I wake up. I hadn't completely exited out of it and I seriously was so afraid to open my facebook app for even just a second, I had to make him do it!

It's insane, I know. It's a ridiculous fear. I don't know if and when I'll ever get over it. It's not a fun feeling at all. Most people are afraid of heights, spiders, tight spaces... I'm afraid of a horror movie character.

Oh, another childhood fear I had? The Count from Sesame Street. Come on, what kid WASN'T afraid of that guy? Creepy purple vampire... he had the creepiest smile and eyes and voice. ugh. That guy still gives me the heebie jeebies.

What's your childhood fear? Or fear that sticks with you to this day? I don't know what can top this!

30 days (weeks?) of writing.

photo by Carli Jean Miller

I figure it's about that time to start writing again. I used to be quite the avid journalist... for myself. When I was a kid, I used to write the craziest stories and comics, (One very popular comic within my family was the "Adventures of Salami Man" and the evil villain "The Rotten Egg", haha). Growing older, I kept journals and continued writing short stories; now, not to toot my own horn (well, maybe a little) three papers that I have written while in college, the professors have approached me with A+'s asking if they could keep my work to use as an example for their future classes. This happened recently in my humanities class, and it caused me to wonder if I should start writing again, for myself. I've tried here and there to write in journals, but I just haven't had the time to keep up with them, so it's been quite a few years since I've picked up a pen and paper with the intention or writing, jotting down a topic or writing about my opinions or something in my life. I realize that that was sort of my intention when I started this blog, so now I'm going to put myself up to the test! I've found a few '30 day' writing prompts on Pinterest, and I can't decide on just one, so I'll most likely be picking topics from all over the place.

The reason why the title of this post mentions 'weeks?', is because unfortunately I'm most likely not going to be able to write something every day. I have days like tomorrow where I work 9 to 3, and then again 4 to 9. So, it's just unrealistic to write daily, and if I did it would be pretty half-assed. I want to be able to sit down with a cup of tea and spend an hour or more on a topic that I find interesting.

Some prompts that I've come across are things like: Dream wedding, What's in your makeup bag? Five ways to win your heart, your fears, weird things that you like, what band or musician is most important to you? Your most vivid childhood memory, three things you want to say to different people, etc.

I'll probably make my first post sometime next week. What are some things you'd like to read on here?

Things I'm Lovin' This Month; June Edition

It's finally June! Well, almost July now, but I've been waiting for June-September all year. Being as it is my absolute favorite time of year. Yes, I like the summer, I like being hot; I'd rather be that than cold. It's a pretty unpopular opinion among my family and friends, but man, I can't get enough of that vitamin D! I made a promise to myself to make this summer memorable and rewarding, to not sit on my ass the majority of the time, and actually have a damn good time as much as possible. So far, I've been living up to that promise dutifully, and my summer has been a blast. Besides the fact that I have work and school -almost- every day, and only a two day break between my spring and summer quarter, I've been trying to live my summer days to the fullest!

1.) BFD 2014. I kick-started June by winning tickets on the radio to BFD 2014. The only downside was we thought (they had told us when we won!) that we won VIP tickets, but when we got there that day, the venue told us that the radio had only given them general admission tickets, sorry. My best friend and I were a bit bummed, but we didn't let it ruin our ~free~ concert day! I wasn't planning on going to BFD this year, because to be honest, the lineup wasn't all that great. Save Foster The People, Fitz & The Tantrums, and Walk The Moon (who I've already seen twice), I wasn't willing to spend $60+ on tickets. But, who wouldn't take advantage of free tickets!? Plus, concerts are much more fun once you're legal. I know that sounds really bad, sorry parents, but I speak the truth! We arrived at the venue earlier than expected, none of the bands we knew were going to start playing until about one, so we made our way to the bar and ordered our first drinks - vodka cran.

We hung out for awhile, and once we were finished with our drinks, the margarita bar opened, so of course we ordered a few of those. Outrageously, the blended margaritas ended up being $27 EACH. Ridiculous right!? I think the woman charged us completely wrong, because later on we found another place in the venue that was selling the same blended margaritas, in a cool ass guitar shaped cup, for $14! Yes, we got robbed, but at that point we had a pretty good buzz on, so we didn't have a care in the world.

The rest of the day consisted of us having a few more drinks, dancing and singing at the top of our lungs to some of our favorite songs, consuming a large amount of garlic fries, and relaxing on the grassy field listening to New Politics and Phantogram's set back to back. By then we were coming down off of our buzz and getting sleepy; we decided we didn't want to wait to see Foster The People (we still had yet to sit through Fitz and the Tantrums and MIA; about 2 1/2 more hours), and we headed home. 

All in all, I had a great day with my best friend; and it was an awesome kick-off to summer. Though we didn't end up seeing the two main bands that we came for, the entire rest of the day made up for it. I miss her so much sometimes, so I'm glad we got to spend the day together! <3

Click the photo to listen to 'Navy Blue' ^

2.) Navy Blue; by The Story So Far.  Just so you now know, The Story So Far is my favorite band. JUST giving a heads up. Besides Blink 182, I pretty much worship these guys. So yes, I will be talking about them a lot. They announced that they were to be releasing an ALL ACOUSTIC EP called 'Songs Of' on June 17th. Let's just say I cried a little. They released this song first, and my speakers oozed magnificence as I played it for the first time; and the 100+ times after that. It really is a beautiful and emotional song, especially since just about every single other song they have emits an aggressive amount of anger towards whoever the girl is that Parker Cannon is singing about. This is probably the first time I've heard a song from them where you can actually hear the sadness in his voice, it even cracks during certain parts. Oh, and his voice? That's one reason alone why you should listen to this song. It is the epitome of sadness and perfection all at the same time.

On June 10th the Kerrang website streamed the songs from this EP, so you can click the link below and listen to 'Songs Of ' in its entirety. I highly recommend doing this, at least listen to The Glass. It. Is. Amazing. And of course, it is after the 17th so the EP is available on Itunes as well, if you want to put that shit on your Ipod.

http://www.kerrang.com/18835/story-far-stream-songs-ep-kerrang/

3.) Beach trips, sunsets, and sand in my toes. Living in California is a blessing. At least for me, a beach trip is no more than 20-30 minutes away. I don't have the pleasure of living on the beach, but at least I can get to Santa Cruz 20 minutes one way, and San Francisco 40 minutes the other. It's definitely one of the perks to living here, being as the ocean is my favorite place to be anytime, anywhere. For one of my best friends birthdays, we drove out to San Francisco for a bonfire on the beach. My first time ever doing so, and I plan on doing it many more times. The weather was perfect and the sunset was absolutely magnificent. There's nothing like friends, beer, s'mores, and a warm sunset to end the day. And of course, I finally got to meet our friend's Pete & LA's new baby boy, Luke! He was quite possibly the sweetest and calmest baby I've ever had the pleasure of meeting <3

My second beach endeavor was last Friday when I, and two of my friends, drove out to Santa Cruz to see Smash Mouth play FOR FREE on the beach! The Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk hosts a 'Bands on the Beach' event every Friday over the summer, where, as the title states, bands play on a large stage at the beach boardwalk for free. I was at work Friday afternoon when my manager told me about it, and you bet your ass I was calling my friends and in my car driving to the beach not an hour after I got off work. The show was a blast from the past, my friends and I got into the VIP section up front, and it was definitely a once in a lifetime opportunity that I'm glad I made the decision to do!

Smash Mouth was absolutely ~fab~ by the way.

And then, my third beach trip, but not my last, was the day after when I accompanied my boyfriend to Moss Beach for a Geology field trip he had to attend too. His instructor mentioned that you could bring whoever you want, even your dog, so of course I hopped on that bandwagon.

We discovered upon arriving that we would make this our 'getaway' spot. It only took about 30-40 minutes to drive there, the little town of Half Moon Bay was peaceful and was lacking the tourist-y vibe, and the beach itself was clean, quaint, and for the most part; empty. It was a beautiful day; I spent the time learning about rocks and faults by listening to lecture, and wandering off to explore the beach. I found an awesome cave, that went really deep into the ground (I wanted to go as far back as it went, but it was really dark, the darkness even swallowed up the flashlight on my iphone, and I was way too scared!), I became trapped inside when the tide came in! But it only lasted a few minutes, then I waded myself out in shin-deep water. 

4.) The Silver Linings Playbook by Matthew Quick. I know I said I was reading The Things They Carried, and I still am! But for two days this month, I lost it, and I didn't have anything to read. So in the meantime, I picked up my nook where TSLP had already been downloaded, and started reading. I was hooked, and I finished it in less than 48 hours. I had watched the movie already, which I usually don't like doing unless I've read the book first, and the book is a bit different. Pretty much the whole ending with the dance competition... well, just the entire ending in general, was written differently than the movie. Although, I think I did enjoy the movie ending a bit better. The book ending was sort of abrupt. Which, I don't usually say that either. On an ending note, Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence were perfect for the parts they played. I'd totally recommend reading this book, it's a short read, and obviously it caught my attention pretty quickly!

5.) Orange is the New Black. So, who ISN'T watching this show? Since I finished watching the second season in about three days, I figure'd I'd talk about it, since it is definitely one of my June favorites. For those of you who have never heard of OITNB, or just hasn't watched it yet (you better have a good reason for not doing so), the show is about a woman named Piper, who was recently engaged to a man named Larry, and is living a somewhat happy and peaceful life; is thrown in an all-woman's jail for assisting in a crime that happened 10+ years ago. Not only does this interrupt her perfect life and new engagement, but her ex girlfriend (played by Laura Prepon, an absolute BABE), who she was involved with during these crimes, is thrown in jail alongside her. The show is basically about the crazy events that happen while she is spending her time in jail, and it is actually based on a true story/book! The real-life 'Piper' is actually a director to the show. 

OITNB is a netflix original, so the entire season is usually released in one day. This causes me to put my life on hiatus for a few days while I watch all 14 episodes in a span of 48+ hours. Please, watch the show. You won't regret it. Everyone I know is talking about it, and, don't you want to get in on this gossip?

Okay, enough with my babbling. This is probably the longest 'Things I'm Lovin' post I'll ever write. So much has just been going on this month, I didn't even know where to start. So, I hope you enjoyed this months version of random-things-that-i-need-to-talk-about. I definitely enjoy writing, regardless if anyone is reading it or not. That being said, you'll probably hear from me again soon!

Thanks for reading!