Clown / Ripped Face SFX Makeup

It's been so long since I've done a paint. My biggest excuse was that my paints are old, limited, and practically dried out. I've been meaning to purchase new ones, and more SFX supplies, but so much has been going on lately! Not to mention I've been a little short on cash over the past couple of months.

I just recently finished moving into my friend Rabekka's house, and as a gift to myself for finally unpacking everything, I decided to paint my face today with the little paints/equipment that I have. So, lo and behold, the creation! I got the idea from my makeup artist when I worked at Halloween Haunt last year, she had a clown girl right before me, and she made it look like half of her face was torn off. I also used Instagram user Mykie's clown look as an inspiration for the eye makeup. (She's AMAZINGLY talented, go check her out!)

Forgive me, as I am REALLY terrible at painting teeth, I can just never get them right! I'm sort of proud of myself for this look though :)

          

A month in photos.

These past 30 days have been pretty hectic, therefore I thought I'd show you in pictures!

I took a trip to Lake Tahoe (my first time!) with my boyfriend and his family for Independence day.

Where the sunset was absolutely beautiful!

 I took a lake trip with some friends & family.

I visited Tracy to see my family, watch my little sisters fabulous dance recital, and spent the night with my best friend!

I took some selfies here & there.

& even some with my favorite pup.

Took my favorite girls to Great America for an awesome Nanny reunion!

I had the chance to see The Lost Boys right on the beach with friends.

& last but not least; I'm currently in the process of moving in with my best friend! In a recent turn of events, I've decided that it will be best for me right now. I feel like I'm starting to regret this decision, though, because she possesses a creepy Chuckie doll, shown below.

(I hope she doesn't hate me for this photo! I love her and think she's gorgeous <3)

30 Weeks of Writing: Week One.

Photo by kaminoryuu.soup.io // my edit

The reason I'm choosing this topic for my first week of writing is because I had a recent 'encounter', I guess you could say, with my worst fear. It's funny, because although this post is titled 'Childhood Fear', this fear is very much existent in my life even today. Yes, I am admitting to you that I am still, at 21 years old, absolutely terrified of this. My friends, and even my boyfriend thinks its funny and a little ridiculous; and I don't doubt that you will be laughing at me too by the end of this post! But I am drop dead serious when I say that I am extremely and positively terrified of Samara from the horror movie 'The Ring', and also the chick from 'The Grudge'. No joke.

Being an aspiring SFX makeup artist, I can pretty much handle anything. From classics like The Nightmare on Elm Street, to gore like The Human Centipede (though one thing I can not handle is snuff films, I've seen a few in my life which have literally made me sick, I don't see how anyone can handle watching a real snuff film without throwing up; and if you can, there is seriously something wrong with you lol). I was a pretty morbid kid, I loved horror films and killing my barbies and being scary things for Halloween; just ask my parents.

Anyway, when I first watched the Ring I was like 8 or 9, and it scared me, yes, but I was obsessed with it. Don't asked me why, but I watched that damn movie every day for like a year. I enjoyed scaring myself and laying awake at night being terrified of the girl in the closet, thinking that she was sitting in mine. (YEAH, I KNOW THOSE OF YOU THAT HAVE SEEN IT REMEMBER THAT PART. WORST. PART. EVER.) Do not ask me WHY I tortured myself like this, because I couldn't tell you! Anyway, after I moved back to my dads house, we didn't own the movie so I didn't watch it anymore; and I slowly developed a real fear of it. I think part of it was because I lived in an abusive household at the time I was 'obsessed' with the movie. Now that that time in my life was in the past, the movie was sort of a reminder of what I had lived through. It's totally subconscious, I think. It's not like I think of the movie and am scared of it because I was abused... I just think that it coincides with that abusive time in my life, so it just gives me an uneasy and scared feeling. Idk, some psychological crap probably. I watched the Grudge for the first time shortly after I had moved to my dads house, and I was pretty much like WHAT THE HELL and I couldn't even finish the damn movie. It reminded me too much of The Ring.

Growing up, the fear got worse. I don't know why, I haven't watched either of those movies in years. I still remember almost every part of The Ring, though. My brother and sister used to taunt me and make the Grudge noise all the time, it got to the point where I would start crying. I turned 18 and moved out of my parents house, I lived about an hour away, and I lived with my (at the time) best friend and her boyfriend. I had my own room, the mattress was on the floor, horizontal to the bedroom door. So, imagine just lying on your right hand side, and facing the door, floor level.

One night I fell asleep that way, laying on my right hand side, facing the door at floor level. When I fell asleep, my door was open and the hall light was on, but the living room light was off. So, the hall was lit up but it was dark beyond that. I fell asleep, and had this 'dream' I guess that didn't even seem like I was dreaming at all. In my dream, I was in the exact same position, facing my door, with the hall light on and the living room light off. The clock by my bed read about 11:30.. that's when I started to fall asleep in the first place. So at this point I honestly couldn't even tell if I was asleep or awake! Anyway, I saw something move in the darkness beyond the hall light. Next thing I know, the damn ring girl CRAWLS out of the darkness into the light of the hallway. She's all contorted and messed up looking, like The Grudge girl, in a crawling position but her legs look broken and stuff, but her hair is in front of her face like The Ring, and I can't see it. Also, her skin (on her arms and legs) is all moldy and scabby, and she's wearing a white night gown.

In my dream, I literally cannot move. She crawls toward me slowly, and her body is literally making cracking noises. She gets right up to my door, and she's just sitting there. I am literally paralyzed with fear, my body is completely frozen. Within a second, literally it takes her one second... one minute shes in my doorway, the next she is RIGHT UP IN MY FACE. LIKE LITERALLY SHE MOVED AT LIGHTNING SPEED AND NOW HER FACE IS IN MY FACE, HER HAIR IS BARELY PARTED AND I CAN SEE HER MOLDY, ROTTED EYE RIGHT UP IN MY FACE.

The next thing I know, I'm screaming bloody murder, I shot upright in my bed and I'm literally grabbing at my face and hair and screaming. The dream literally jolted me awake. I scrambled up from bed, ran into the kitchen, and turned on all of the lights. I immediately grabbed a glass of water and gulped that thing down in seconds. I was seriously hyperventilating and panicking and crying. The house was completely silent, my roommates were still asleep, (though I don't know why or how, I literally screamed at the top of my lungs), and the clock read 11:32. I was asleep for less than 2 minutes. The thing was, I hadn't seen either movies in years, and I hadn't even thought or talked about those movies in at least a couple of months. So I can't tell you why I had that vivid, creepy dream.

The day after that, I apologized to my roommates if I had woken them up the night before. They had no idea what I was talking about. I said, "Are you serious? I had a bad dream and I woke up screaming at the top of my lungs, and I ran past your room into the kitchen where I turned on all the lights". Again, they said they didn't hear anything, and they also said they were awake in their room until about midnight. I said, "Are you kidding me? You didn't hear me scream, you didn't hear my footsteps, and you didn't see all the lights turn on?" they said, "no, not that I know of". It freaked me the hell out, I know it happened. I know that waking up and going to the kitchen wasn't apart of my dream! And my roommates didn't hear a thing.

After that, I couldn't even see a picture of anything like that without freaking out. I met my boyfriend and moved in with him, he begged me to watch one of The Grudge movies with him (it was a random, Japanese version, called White Ghost Black Ghost or something like that? lol.) He was like, "come on, it's been years. You're 20 now, I bet you're not even scared of it anymore". I finally gave in, we started watching it and I was gripping the blanket so hard my knuckles were turning white. One of the first scenes, that creepy little Grudge boy popped up on the screen, I practically peed my pants. I screamed and covered my face and started bawling. My boyfriend was laughing so hard, he shut it off, and he seriously could not believe that I was that scared. I know and understand that it's not real, that it can't be real, and that it's obviously a fictitious character... so I really can't tell you why I get so afraid.

My recent 'encounter'... I was coming home from work after a late night shift. I got off from work at 2am, and I didn't reach my house till about 2:45. My house was completely dark, my boyfriend, his mom, and even my dog was fast asleep. I was climbing up the stairs and scrolling down facebook when someone posted a damn picture, black and white, of a creepy stairway. I couldn't tell what it was from far away so I clicked on the picture. AND IT WAS THE DAMN GRUDGE GIRL CRAWLING DOWN THE STAIRS. I freaked the hell out, clicked the home button as fast as I could, and I ran to the bathroom, turned on the light and shut the door. I was hyperventilating and fanning my face and freaking out. I sat in the bathroom for 15 minutes, I literally did not want to leave the light to go into the dark hallway. I finally worked up the courage to get into bed with my boyfriend, where I laid there for another hour until I started falling asleep. Before that, though, I sent my boyfriend a text telling him that when he wakes up, to please open my phone, go to the facebook app, and exit out of that picture before I wake up. I hadn't completely exited out of it and I seriously was so afraid to open my facebook app for even just a second, I had to make him do it!

It's insane, I know. It's a ridiculous fear. I don't know if and when I'll ever get over it. It's not a fun feeling at all. Most people are afraid of heights, spiders, tight spaces... I'm afraid of a horror movie character.

Oh, another childhood fear I had? The Count from Sesame Street. Come on, what kid WASN'T afraid of that guy? Creepy purple vampire... he had the creepiest smile and eyes and voice. ugh. That guy still gives me the heebie jeebies.

What's your childhood fear? Or fear that sticks with you to this day? I don't know what can top this!